| A little while ago I called an old friend to say hello, and | | | | experienced if he was caught with another woman. |
| the conversation turned to my involvement in helping | | | | Another wife of a man who struggles with sex |
| the sexually broken. After I shared of my 20 year | | | | addiction writes: My husband and I have been married |
| struggle with sex addiction, my friend said "well, I'm no | | | | for a little over one year. He had a problem with |
| sex addict, I'm just a casual porn user!" | | | | pornography and has now been clean for over two |
| Today there are many who call themselves "casual | | | | years. To this day I struggle with the pain of this, and I |
| porn users", or CPUs as I call them. They indulge in | | | | don't know how to recover. I ask God to take the pain |
| porn occasionally, maybe just a few times a year so | | | | away so that we might be intimate without me |
| they don't see a problem with it. After all it's just | | | | remembering what he has done. I have forgiven him |
| pictures and no one else will see; how can anyone get | | | | but I hurt so much. I will never be that picture, and how |
| hurt? | | | | do I know he doesn't expect me to? I am to be loved, |
| In Matthew 5:27 Jesus said: You have heard that it | | | | and how am I to satisfy a husband who can be |
| was said 'You shall not commit adultery' but I say to | | | | satisfied by a picture of some fantasy woman I will |
| you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for | | | | never be, a picture of someone who will never be his |
| her has already committed adultery with her in his | | | | wife? Men should know that if they have a wife, or |
| heart. | | | | plan to get married someday that it really does hurt |
| From Jesus' piercing words we know that to lust after | | | | her. My husband has grieved with me over the pain I |
| other women or men is to commit emotional and | | | | have. Believe it or not it affects our sex life, and I can't |
| spiritual adultery. Having self-sex while looking at | | | | keep it from entering my head...every time. |
| pictures of naked women is taking this sin of adultery | | | | One of the biggest lies Satan whispers is "a little lust |
| to the next level; it's adding sexual experience to lust, | | | | won't hurt you; go ahead, its just you and pictures. No |
| pouring gas on the fire. | | | | one will know." The truth is that "just a little porn" is |
| What might your wife say if you approached her and | | | | playing a big part in taking out many marriages. At a |
| said "honey, this year I'm going to commit adultery just | | | | 2003 meeting of the American Academy of |
| three times. Once this month, again in July and one last | | | | Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce |
| time in December. But I won't touch anyone, I'm just | | | | lawyers who attended said Internet porn contributed to |
| going to masturbate to pictures of other naked | | | | more than half of the divorce cases they handled. |
| women. But it's just me and pictures and I won't | | | | They also said that "pornography had an almost |
| actually have sex with another person. Okay?" | | | | non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years |
| Obviously your wife would be angry and deeply hurt. | | | | ago." |
| Why? Because she knows true love comes from the | | | | My friend, you may not be a sex addict, but if you're |
| heart, and you're taking your love, which you've | | | | dabbling in porn you're committing adultery and hurting |
| promised is hers alone, and giving it to another. | | | | your wife. You're also hollowing out your soul and |
| I know one wife who walked in on her husband while | | | | wasting your character. "Casual porn use" is little |
| he was masturbating with with porn. Seeing her | | | | different from sexual addiction, and it may be worse. |
| husband having sex with himself, with pornographic | | | | Those who struggle with sex addiction often hit a hard |
| magazines spread out on the floor in front of him | | | | bottom fast, which forces them to get help quicker. I've |
| broke her heart. The trauma this couple went through | | | | seen Casual Porn Users who've taken their sin well |
| was little different from what they would have | | | | into middle age. It doesn't need to be this way... |