| A little while ago I called an old friend to | | | | experienced if he was caught with another |
| say hello, and the conversation turned to my | | | | woman. |
| involvement in helping the sexually broken. | | | | |
| After I shared of my 20 year struggle with | | | | Another wife of a man who struggles with sex |
| sex addiction, my friend said "well, I'm no | | | | addiction writes: My husband and I have been |
| sex addict, I'm just a casual porn user!" | | | | married for a little over one year. He had a |
| | | | problem with pornography and has now been |
| Today there are many who call themselves | | | | clean for over two years. To this day I |
| "casual porn users", or CPUs as I call them. | | | | struggle with the pain of this, and I don't |
| They indulge in porn occasionally, maybe just | | | | know how to recover. I ask God to take the |
| a few times a year so they don't see a | | | | pain away so that we might be intimate |
| problem with it. After all it's just pictures | | | | without me remembering what he has done. I |
| and no one else will see; how can anyone get | | | | have forgiven him but I hurt so much. I will |
| hurt? | | | | never be that picture, and how do I know he |
| | | | doesn't expect me to? I am to be loved, and |
| In Matthew 5:27 Jesus said: You have heard | | | | how am I to satisfy a husband who can be |
| that it was said 'You shall not commit | | | | satisfied by a picture of some fantasy woman |
| adultery' but I say to you that everyone who | | | | I will never be, a picture of someone who |
| looks at a woman with lust for her has | | | | will never be his wife? Men should know that |
| already committed adultery with her in his | | | | if they have a wife, or plan to get married |
| heart. | | | | someday that it really does hurt her. My |
| | | | husband has grieved with me over the pain I |
| From Jesus' piercing words we know that to | | | | have. Believe it or not it affects our sex |
| lust after other women or men is to commit | | | | life, and I can't keep it from entering my |
| emotional and spiritual adultery. Having | | | | head...every time. |
| self-sex while looking at pictures of naked | | | | |
| women is taking this sin of adultery to the | | | | One of the biggest lies Satan whispers is "a |
| next level; it's adding sexual experience to | | | | little lust won't hurt you; go ahead, its |
| lust, pouring gas on the fire. | | | | just you and pictures. No one will know." The |
| | | | truth is that "just a little porn" is playing |
| What might your wife say if you approached | | | | a big part in taking out many marriages. At a |
| her and said "honey, this year I'm going to | | | | 2003 meeting of the American Academy of |
| commit adultery just three times. Once this | | | | Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 |
| month, again in July and one last time in | | | | divorce lawyers who attended said Internet |
| December. But I won't touch anyone, I'm just | | | | porn contributed to more than half of the |
| going to masturbate to pictures of other | | | | divorce cases they handled. They also said |
| naked women. But it's just me and pictures | | | | that "pornography had an almost non-existent |
| and I won't actually have sex with another | | | | role in divorce just seven or eight years |
| person. Okay?" | | | | ago." |
| | | | |
| Obviously your wife would be angry and deeply | | | | My friend, you may not be a sex addict, but |
| hurt. Why? Because she knows true love comes | | | | if you're dabbling in porn you're committing |
| from the heart, and you're taking your love, | | | | adultery and hurting your wife. You're also |
| which you've promised is hers alone, and | | | | hollowing out your soul and wasting your |
| giving it to another. | | | | character. "Casual porn use" is little |
| | | | different from sexual addiction, and it may |
| I know one wife who walked in on her husband | | | | be worse. Those who struggle with sex |
| while he was masturbating with with porn. | | | | addiction often hit a hard bottom fast, which |
| Seeing her husband having sex with himself, | | | | forces them to get help quicker. I've seen |
| with pornographic magazines spread out on the | | | | Casual Porn Users who've taken their sin well |
| floor in front of him broke her heart. The | | | | into middle age. It doesn't need to be this |
| trauma this couple went through was little | | | | way... |
| different from what they would have | | | | |