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Is Your Self-Talk Sabotaging Your Relationship And Your Peace?

Relationships are either getting better orconcept that says that all of the information
they are getting worse. They are dynamic.that finds its way into our unconscious must
entities and do not remain the same.first pass through the Medulla, a small
Therefore, if your relationship is notswitching device in the brain. It is
getting better, it is more than likelybelieved that over 70 percent of what we are
getting  worse  in  some  way.exposed to never reaches our conscious mind
and directed to our unconscious
One of the critical issues that determinesautomatically. Therefore much of what we hear
whether a relationship is getting better oris registered in our mind for future recall.
worse is the focus of the people involved.2﷓ The unconscious mind can't
Every relationship has some positive as welldifferentiate between what is real and
as negative stuff going on. You can chooseimagined.
to focus on the negatives or the positives.
There  are  five  ways  in  which we do this.Combining these two principles, much of our
thinking as well as self﷓talk is
1.  Our  internal  self﷓talk.nothing more than recycling old information
over and over again. If this
2. Our external behavior that focuses on whatself﷓talk is negative we will bring to
is  working  or  not  working.our conscious mind other similar negative
experiences or feelings that have been stored
3.  Our  expectations  of  the  other person.for future reference. The same is true on
the positive side. If our focus is on the
4. Our perceptual interpretations of thenegative through internal negative
other  person's  behavior.preoccupation we will tend to filter even
positive actions or words from another person
5. Our obsession with the other person'sthrough this negative filter. You can begin
behavior.to see how this negative preoccupation tends
to  bring  even  more  negatives  into focus.
Let's  look  at  the  issue  of  self-talk.
The key is to only permit positive thoughts
Self﷓talk is your unedited ongoinginto your active consciousness, by rejecting
internal dialog that you have with yourselfany negatives. This doesn't mean that these
every waking minute of your life. Whethernegatives do not exist. They are very real,
this self﷓talk continues during sleepbut we can choose what we allow into our
is anybody's guess. Each of us has a varietymoment by moment thinking. One of the best
of mental filters that let some informationways to accomplish this is through the
into our consciousness while rejecting otherrepetitive exposure of only thoughts, ideas,
information.feelings that you want to have resurface.
You have conscious control, if you take it.
There are two concepts that have an impact onMost people do not. They feel that their
our self﷓talk. They are:thinking is not within the domain of their
1﷓There is a medical/psychologicalactive control.



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