Coping With Terminal Diagnosis

sychological challenges that confront us when we arethinking or talking about the traumatic event, or using
exposed to catastrophic news can be seen in ouralcohol or drugs to avoid painful thoughts and feelings.
faces and postures immediately. They are the mind'sThe natural course of coming to terms with a
automatic attempt to integrate and assimilate the brutaltraumatic event involves oscillating between intrusion
reality of a traumatic event.and avoidance. We flip back and forth over the
When we receive a shocking cancer diagnosis, ourcourse of minutes as well as over the course of days
normal assumptions are ruptured, and ourand weeks.
understanding of the "rules" of daily living are shockedHyperarousal: the third natural response comes from
and upset. Not only do we experience strong emotionsthe "fight or flight response", which is part of our
in these times, we actually lose our balanceevolutionary heritage. This is manifest in disturbed
psychologically. This loss of stability and psychologicalsleep, trouble concentrating, being easily startled, and
equilibrium are what we aim to regain as webeing overly watchful, on guard, and jumpy.
experience the waves of emotions in the weeks andHere are some ways to cope :
months that follow our exposure.Communicate
One important point to know and to remember is thatTalk to those who want to and are able to listen. Be
the natural, common, and normal reactions that youaware that there will be times when others aren't able
experience may feel quite painful and may make youto or don't want to listen.
wonder if your mind is playing tricks on you. In the vastProtect yourself from information overload
majority of cases, your reactions are normal, even ifTurn away from the information overload -turn off the
they are very strong and upsetting.television or radio, and stop surfing the Internet for the
There are three kinds of experience that most peoplelatest bulletin. Our need for information is driven by our
have:need to regain a sense of control, but when the world
Intrusion: this bad dreams or nightmares, anxiety oris still rocking, real control is not yet available.
fear when exposed to reminders of the trauma, painfulAvoid 'escapist' behavior
thoughts about what happened, and losing track of theAvoid alcohol, drugs, or immersion in work as a way to
present and feeling like what happened is happeningdistract yourself. Better to deal with the painful feelings
again.as they happen than to put them aside.
Avoidance: this takes the form of social isolation, notTime is the great healer for those exposed to trauma.